Spreadsheet jokes
 

A pilot is flying a small, single-engine charter plane with a couple of really important business people on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is only 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles, looking for a landmark. After an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog, he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor.

Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window, "Hi, where am I?"

The solitary office worker replies, "You're in an airplane."

The pilot executes a swift 275 degree turn and makes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers are relieved, and ask the pilot how he did it.

"Simple," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct, but absolutely useless. Therefore, that must have been the Microsoft Excel support office. I know that, from there, the airport is three minutes away on a heading of 87 degrees."

 

 

A traveler wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals came upon a butcher shop. This shop specialized in human brains. The sign in the shop read "Brain Type" (see below). Upon reading the sign, the traveler noted, "My, those spreadsheet developer brains must be quite tasty!" The butcher replied, "Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how many spreadsheet developers you have to kill to get a pound of brains?"

 

Brain Type Price per Pound
Artist Brains $ 9.00
Philosopher Brains $12.00
Scientist Brains $15.00

Spreadsheet Developer Brains

$29.00

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